Many parents tell me of daily struggles both at nap time and at bedtime. I was very fortunate. When my kids were young we did not have a lot of struggles. I did not force naps and bed time was really bedroom time, not necessarily sleep time.
If you're child is fighting you at nap time, you have to evaluate the purpose of the nap. Is the nap to give you a break or is the nap because the child is tired? If the child is tired and does indeed need the sleep, then a wind down routine with some soft music, some quiet activity may be all that's needed for the child to go to sleep. Just as we (the adults) can not come home and immediately fall asleep, neither can a child. They too need some time to wind down.
If the child is overtired, helping them fall asleep is even more difficult. On those days, I would always put very soothing music on, in the car and would even sometimes drive a bit further than necessary to help calm my child down.
By age 2, neither of my kids took naps anymore. Taking a nap would mean they were up until 11pm at night and I did not want them up that late. At school both of my kids were allowed to engage in quiet play during the nap time. If they did fall asleep at home, I would wake them after one hour. Again, I wanted them to be able to sleep at night.
What if you need a break? What if nap time is one of the only breaks you get? Keep the naps short, no more than an hour. A childless hour can do wonders to rejuvenate a tired mom. Trade play dates with another mom for an hour per day. Use that hour for YOU. Don't clean house. Instead do something for you. It might mean reading a book. It might mean working on the quilt you've been working on for the last 6 months. Use the time for you, so that when you reunite with your child, you are once again rejuvenated.
Nighttime routines are going to vary according to the child. One of my daughters was quick to fall asleep at night. She was tired. My other daughter was not tired. She did not require as much sleep. She used to read for an hour in bed before going to sleep. This did the trick. I wanted her in her room by 8:30, but she wanted to be up until 9:30. Having her read that hour gave both of us what we wanted.
What activities, very quiet activities can your child do in their room before bed? If they don't wish to read, what about a jigsaw puzzle? The idea is to slow down and be ready to go to sleep. If your child falls asleep on the floor, that's ok, when you go to bed, pick them up and put them into their bed.
Try different techniques to make bed time a pleasant time, not a struggle time.
